Relationships
Definition
Applications
Interpretations
Friendships and relationships are designed to increase Simplicity and Irrelevance (in this context, irrelevant means something we don't have to pay too much attention to) because we have come to an agreement on how to behave. These are cultural systems designed to make things irrelevant.
By contrast, if someone dropped you, naked, in the middle of the jungle at night, everything would be highly relevant. And that's a recipe for stress.
If a relationship you have is not therapeutic, then you don't have a relationship.
God knows what you're doing, butting heads with one another, primate dominance hierarchy dispute, they're a tyrant, you're a slave…
If you’re going to have a relationship, you can’t let the ‘orderliness’ part of you get in the way…
If you think you are different from your wife, you are wrong. What happens to one, happens to the other
In an intimate relationship, you want to know that your partner is on your side, that they are not trying to compete with you in some way, to undermine you. You hope that they want your life to be the best possible.
People with the high trait of Agreeability may regard an intimate exclusive relationship to be the most important thing in their lives.
In a relationship, we need to figure out how to listen, say what you mean, learn to negotiate, tell the truth
Try to negotiate, at the very least, so you don’t walk away miserable, resentful and angry. If that happens, it means you had something to say but didn’t say it.
If you have problems in a relationship, you should shut up, watch and listen. Watch like a hawk. Watch and listen as though you are really interested in what they are saying, not in a way to reinforce your prejudices.
Probably the worst thing that can happen in a relationship is betrayal; it takes a huge chunk of order and turns it into chaos. Then you must examine the reasons why (the betrayal). There’s a surface reason, then a deeper reason, then an even deeper one, until you come face to face with everyone’s proclivity towards evil.
Do not do anything for anybody that they can do themselves
Things that appear in life are either:
- A help to you
- A hindrance to you
- Something irrelevant, so you don't care about it.
See Also
References
